Michael Moore

Stop this war! Shame on you Hobbits! Shame on you! This is a fictitious war! This Lord was not elected by the popular — [a computer-generated Oliphaunt steps on Moore, crushing him].

In a humorous sendup of Moore's previous acceptance speech for Best Documentary Feature at the 2003 Oscars. Moore himself delivered the lines in the opening act of the 2004 Oscars, while standing in front of a greenscreen which had the Battle of the Pelennor Fields scene from The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King playing on it; a battle which was, itself, literally fictitious. (23 March 2004), 2004

He is probably choking on a pretzel or something. I hope nobody tells him that I have won this award while he is eating a pretzel. … He has the funniest lines in the film. I am eternally grateful to him.

Statement about US President George W. Bush, at press conference after winning the top prize at the Cannes film festival for Fahrenheit 9/11; quoted in Reuters reports (22 May 2004) and in cite journal, 2004

I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a "deserter." What I meant to say is that George W. Bush is a deserter, an election thief, a drunk driver, a WMD liar, and a functional illiterate. And he poops his pants.

cite web, 2004

You've got the Bush Administration using that event in such a disrespectful and immoral way — using the deaths of those people to try and shred our civil liberties, change our Constitution, round people up. That's not how you honor them, by using them to change our way of life as a free country.

On the use of the September 11th attacks to expand governmental powers and diminish civil liberties, through "The Patriot Act". — CBS interview (June 2004), 2004

A lot of political people, especially people on the left, have forgotten the importance of humor as an incredible weapon, and a vehicle through which to affect change.

The Corporation (2004), 2004

Early talk was that anti-Bush people would go see it and pro-Bush people would stay home, and that's not the case. Most people do not go around with labels. A lot of Republicans have open minds.

On the movie Fahrenheit 9/11 — Zap2it.com (27 June 2004), 2004

Should such an ignorant people lead the world? How did it come to this in the first place? 82 percent of us don't even have a passport! Just a handful can speak a language other than English (and we don't even speak that very well.)

On Americans in an Open Letter to the German publication Die Zeit (11 June 2003) (published in German), 2003

What the media are telling you to be afraid of are the wrong things... Fear is a necessary ingredient of our survival instincts.

Interview with filmmaker Michael Moore, Rolling Stone (January 2003), 2003

These bastards who run our country are a bunch of conniving, thieving, smug pricks who need to be brought down and removed and replaced with a whole new system that we control.

cite book, 2003

I think the United States, I think our government knows where he is and I don't think we're going to be capturing him or killing him any time soon.

About Osama bin Laden in an interview with Bob Costas on On the Record with Bob Costas HBO (Spring 2003), 2003

The majority of Americans — the ones who never elected you — are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction.

About President George W. Bush, in "A Letter to George W. Bush on the Eve of War" (17 March 2003), 2003

Librarians see themselves as the guardians of the First Amendment. … You got a thousand Mother Joneses at the barricades! I love the librarians, and I am grateful for them!

On the role of outraged librarians protesting when publisher HarperCollins insisted he rewrite Stupid White Men to be less critical of President Bush. "Muzzling Moore" Salon (7 January 2002), 2002

I'm a millionaire, I'm a multi-millionaire, I'm filthy rich. You know why I'm a multi-millionaire? 'Cause multi-millions like what I do. That's pretty good, isn't it? There's millions that believe in what I do. Pretty cool, huh?

Responding to criticism over his purchase of a million-dollar home, as quoted in the Arcata Eye (3 March 2002); and in "Moore Lies, Moore Fun at Stanford" by Joe Fairbanks in the Stanford Review (17 April 2002), 2002

You know he's there illegally. You know he was not elected either by the popular vote or by the vote in Florida.

On President George W. Bush in "BuzzFlash Interviews Michael Moore" (13 March 2002), 2002

Well I failed to bring Roger to Flint. As we neared the end of the twentieth century, the rich were richer, the poor, poorer. And people everywhere now had a lot less lint, thanks to the lint rollers made in my hometown. It was truly the dawn of a new era.

Roger & Me (1989), 1989